The New Age Holiday Hellion

Raising friends' and relatives' eyebrows the ol' fashioned way.

“Heads up, thumbs down!”

This firey chant of the holiday season rippling through the crowds can begin with one simple push of a button: Off. Not vibrate. Not silence. Off.

This may sound hopelessly Utopian but this action’s ability to mind shift the best of us, is in our reach! Start your New Year’s resolution early by leaving your phone in the glove compartment before your goal date of January 1, 2015. Be present for how you're ringing in the New Year.

Go to the party glowing and festive-as-can-be carrying only a bottle of the host’s poison in one hand and yours in the other. Keep your head raised, your eyes up and your presence radiating through the walls. Ditch the selfies, food shots, updates, and tweets.

Strike up a conversation, ruffle feathers and make ‘em squirm asking “How’s it going?” while you actually wait for an answer and really care what the hell they say. Take a picture with an actual camera. Even better, use film and struggle for only 1 group shot filled with perfect imperfections. Laugh and reminisce. Get that warm fuzzy feeling back when you lock eyes with the guy you've been eyeing standing guard over the guac. Flirt, dance and cheer every hour on the hour. Give long, solid hugs to friends and relatives you haven’t seen for a year and ones you saw two days ago.

Jump on board diving offline and feel the release of knowing that a “missed opportunity” is a thing of the past while you fully invest yourself in helping your Cousin Pete brainstorm ways he can get his start-up off the ground.  Listen intently to your Aunt Deb when she confides in you how retirement is lending itself to an identity crisis. Give advice when asked, shut your mouth when necessary and have a blast actually being with warm, flesh and blood, living people. Practice talking with your brother’s girlfriend, yes the one who drives you off the wall BONKERS, to see if you can gain a bit of perspective and sense of compassion.

‘Tis the season, after all.  Make them want “what she’s having”. Leave them wondering if it’s the result of grueling and enlightening hour long therapy sessions or just the result of some classic, solid, hot sex. Be your own mascot knowing that behavior is contagious and soon you’ll be sitting back realizing that the only thing glowing in the room are the people in it... and not what’s in their hands.


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